I'm not sure where I read about fear being false evidence appearing real but most of my life has been lived under that assumption. Why I don't know. What's even worse is that I am aware of this yet cannot stop myself from feeling this way. Here's a small list of the major things I missed out on because of false evidence.
- In kindergarten I was asked to play the lead in Goldilocks because I had the blondest hair. I was too shy so I just became part of the chorus or background.
- In high school I was a Beatlemaniac and I had gotten a ticket to their Shea Stadium concert. When I bought the ticket I was in school and hanging with other girls who were of the same ilk. But it was summer when the concert occured and I was to shy/afraid to call the other girls to see how they were getting there, so I didn't go.
- Fast forward to the 1990's and a Guns 'n Roses concert. I had two tickets and was going to take a friend. It was held at the Rose Bowl and I was living in Ventura County and was to timid to make the drive (starting to sound like TERRAP or agourphobia).
My fear has dictated my life. I feel I have never made any real decisions about what direction I wanted my life to take. So now I reap the rewards for a life not lived. There is so much I haven't done and not that much time left to do it. So will I? I still don't know.
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